What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is one of the most under-reported types of crime. Any person can experience domestic violence regardless of race, ethnic or religious group, class, sexuality, disability or lifestyle.
Domestic violence is repetitive, life threatening, and can destroy the lives of the victims and their children.
It is recognised that there are increasing numbers of cases of domestic violence in same sex relationships and by family members against aged parents or guardians.
What forms does domestic violence take?
Being afraid of your partner - Although we all argue with our partners sometimes, you should not feel intimidated or in fear of your partner, or be scared that they are going to hurt you or your children. You have the right to live free of fear in your own home, and to be in a relationship that is supportive and caring, not one that makes you afraid.
Constant threats of violence - Threatening to hurt you or your children or other family members. This can include threatening looks and gestures; threats to kill you or to commit suicide and verbal abuse.
Physical violence - Not all physical violence leaves a mark on your body, but it is all aimed to hurt and control you. Physical
violence includes behaviours like punching, kicking, slapping, biting, pulling your hair, burning, strangling, throwing you down, stabbing, twisting your arm, and shoving.
Sexual violence - Making you have sex against your will, either by threatening to hurt you or someone else, or physically forcing themselves on you. Sexual violence also includes sexual abuse of children, forcing you or your children to watch or take part in pornography, and attacking the sexual parts of your body.
Financial abuse - Keeping control of the finances, so that you are forced to ask for money to buy food and clothes, or
just to go out. This can also include taking any money you earn, not letting you have access to bank accounts, not allowing you to work and forcing you to manage on 'pocket money'.
Emotional abuse - Emotional abuse might not leave bruises or break your bones, but it hurts just as much. Sometimes the deepest scars are the ones we can't see. Emotional abuse includes constantly putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself, humiliating you in front of other people, making you feel guilty and as though the violence is your fault, and making you feel ashamed of your fear.
Isolation - Controlling where you go and who you see, and stopping you from seeing or talking to other people.
You may feel that you are entirely alone and are controlled by your partner's jealousy and behaviour.
Murder - Domestic violence is the leading cause of death for women aged 19-44 in the UK, with two women every
week killed by their current or former partners.
Who can be affected by domestic violence?
Domestic violence can affect anyone, regardless of their age, religion, culture, ethnicity, sexuality, or class.
The majority of victims of domestic violence are women, and the majority of perpetrators are their male partners.
Domestic violence can also affect men.
Domestic violence also happens in gay and lesbian relationships.
Children are often the invisible victims of domestic violence, but they are as affected by seeing or hearing violence as their parents are.
Definitions
We define domestic violence as physical violence, sexual violence (including rape, sexual assault and unwanted exposure to pornography) and psychological violence (including intimidation, threats, harassment, stalking, damaging property and allowing children to witness violence).
Domestic violence occurs within a domestic relationship and forms a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour.
We define domestic relationship to include someone who is a current or former partner or family member, who ordinarily shares a household or who has a close personal relationship with the other person.
The definition of domestic violence also includes causing or allowing a child to see or hear the physical, sexual or psychological abuse of a person with whom the child has a domestic relationship.
Domestic violence is a crime
You do not have to accept it!